Beautiful war
by ila8lake
Summary: Mike and Kate both love the navy but they are denying their true feelings for one another, can one night lead to a lifetime together or will their chance be lost forever? * Hi Guys- please nb I do not own sea patrol or characters, additional characters have been made up. Please review :)
1. Chapter 1

"Charlie 82 this is X-ray 82"

"Negative sir …he speaks some broken english and says his bosses sent him here… sir I suspect he is talking of a mothership, possibly with other ffv's attached to this organisation".

"Is there a sizeable catch on board?"

"Their nets are out but nothing on board yet …sir they are ill prepared with stock they wouldn't last more than two more days with these supplies…there is no way they would make it back to Indonesia…there has to be another boat supplying them!"

"Agreed X but there's not a whole lot more we can do here, redirect him back over the line and return to the ship Charlie 82 out!"

"Yes Sir X-ray 82 out"

Kate walked back on to the bridge clearly disappointed by the outcome of the boarding. Mike could see it in her eyes the frustration of letting them get away…he could see something else was bothering her too but he wasn't sure what

"You ok X?"

Something was wrong with Kate but she redirected her thoughts to the illegal fisherman clearly they were in the wrong but the CO was right their hands were tied on the matter, though highly unlikely the illegal fisherman could claim exactly what they said. That they had accidentally wondered into Australian waters!

"X?" Came Mike's voice.

This time she herd and responded

"Oh sorry sir, yes I'm fine! Just a little frustrated is all." Mike knew she was talking about the FFV

"Don't worry X we'll get them" Kate looked over at her boss with a questioning stare.

"Well I'm more interested in their mothership they are going to need to return to her at some point to restock supplies as you said"

"So we are going to monitor them then?"

"Yes X that we are, we will keep just below the horizon and monitor them"

"But sir how do you know they will be in our waters?"

"Well X I don't, but that is the second FFV we have found in similar circumstances in the past two days and ….it would make sense for logistical purpose for her to come to her vessel…she may service a whole heap of FFVs in our waters but we wouldn't know because she's constantly moving…these FFV's are getting their supplies from somewhere and I'm going to find out where!" Mike looked at Kate and could see the realization on her face.

Kate too looked at Mike and could see a small rush of excitement wash over him at the challenge and possibility of taking out the mothership that serviced the FFVs!

Two days later…

Mike was convinced that they would catch the mothership he had boarding parties on standby when a mayday interrupted his train of thought.

"Mayday, mayday, mayday this is the pacific dolphin calling on VHF channel 59 …MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY!" Kate looked out the corner of her eye to see one very torn CO. The angst was written all over his face Mike wanted so much to ignore the mayday and take out the mothership but with no other boats in the vicinity to render assistance it was Hammersley's responsibility! Mike hesitantly took the receiver from RO.

"Pacific dolphin this is Australian warship Hammersley what is the nature of your mayday?"

"Australian warship, Pacific Dolphin…I have a broken mast and have lost steering! I need urgent assistance or my yacht may capsize, over!"

"Ok Sir, my name is Mike Flynn I am the Commander of HMAS Hammersley how many crew do you have sir?"

"Just myself Commander…..Josh Ambrose…" The transmission began breaking up.

Mike turned to Nav.

"Sir I have him on radar currently 18 miles south of our current position"

"Thanks Nav" Mike replied before speaking into the radio again.

"Ok Mr Ambrose we will be with you A.S.A.P"

"X" came the CO's voice "pipe boarding station…take Swain for medical assistance and charge …see if he can't fix Mr Ambrose's steering problem hopefully he'll be on his way!"

"Sir" was her response before moving to the loud speaker "…hands to boarding stations, hands to boarding stations, hands to boarding stations, boarding party muster boat deck"

Upon boarding the Pacific Dolphin Kate was greeted by Mr Ambrose.

"Hi lieutenant McGregor" she offered her hand "you must be Mr Ambrose"

"Josh please and…..?"

"Kate"

"Well it's nice to meet you Kate sorry about this"

"Oh well it is our job…Any luck Charge?"

"No sorry ma'am"

"Ok we will need to set up a tow back to base".

Back on board the Hammersley mike introduces himself to Josh but it would seem the young sailor is all too interested in his XO, Kate completely oblivious to the fact agrees to give Josh the grand tour leaving Mike on the bridge jealous and hurt. It had been almost two months since he had been with Kate and in this moment more now than ever all he wanted was Kate all to himself. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and couldn't stand to see her with another man. Mike was being selfish he'd had four years to rekindle his relationship with Kate and yet he cheated her so many times after his near death experience. He'd vowed to himself he was uncontrollably in love with her but he had agreed to continue on as CO till the end of Hammersley's rotation, and perhaps on a more selfish level had failed to inform Kate that he would be CO for yet another ten months…mike knew he was being unfair to the woman he loved…she had already waited four years for their relationship to blossom once more and now it was his second love standing in their way…his love of the sea.

Later in the ward room mike was faced once more with Josh and Kate's easy chatter and he knew what he had to do. He had to tell her about the position of CO and that he wouldn't be handing over to her for another ten months, he had to let her know that his feelings for here were stronger than ever before she gave up on them once and for all! Mike began to realise just how amazing Kate was and how lucky he'd been that another man hadn't tried to win her over sooner.

Later out on deck….

"Hi I just wanted to say again how grateful I am, I honestly don't know what I would've done if you guys hadn't of showed up when you did"." Josh paused "Sorry …Kate are you ok?"

"Yea, yea I'm fine…" Kate forced a smile "…actually no, no I'm not…" She let out a shaky exhale.

"I don't know!" she turned to reveal what she was holding in her hands, a pregnancy test.

"Wow" Josh looked into Kate's confused eyes unsure what to say.

"Congratulations?" at this Kate let out a smile, this time it was unforced but shed with a tear she was still clearly confused.

She was confused she had just shared her news for the first time and with a complete stranger. Nevertheless a small weight was lifted of her chest for the first time in days. She had been nervous about confirming what she had feared. What was she going to do? She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't married and the man she loved…she wasn't even in a relationship. She had been trying her hardest since the accident to move on from Mike. She couldn't spend her life loving someone that couldn't love her back. But now she would be linked to him forever. Josh meanwhile could see it written all over her face her mind was racing a million miles an hour she was torn and she was scared he moved closer taking her hand in his to comfort her.

As mike headed of watch that night with Kate in his thoughts he vowed to tell her as soon as they arrived back in port. He was suddenly startled and awoken from his day dream when he heard a familiar laugh, that of the woman he loved he proceeded to detour towards the singing of her laughter but stopped short when he opened the door to the boat deck to reveal an intimate scene between this 'Josh' character and his XO…Kate. To Mike's horror Josh proceeded to lean into Kate taking her hand in his. At this Mike turned and removed himself from the scene he was completely out of place and hurt as he entered his cabin he couldn't rid himself of the anger and pain he felt for Josh and what annoyed him more was that he was a completely nice guy without faults, the right guy for Kate.

Back out on deck Kate pulled herself together.

"…Thanks I really needed that!"

"You will make a great mother Kate" unable to speak Kate nodded in reply trying to convince herself of that. Kate turned on her heals to the direction of her cabin. She needed time alone to come to terms with her new revelation. Just as she rounded the corner to her cabin she was met with a surprised looking face and the very last one she wanted to see at that moment. She knew she had to tell Mike but it was neither the time nor place to spring it on him. She gave him a quick smile and picked up her pace in the hope of bypassing conversation, she made contact with the door to her cabin when she heard him.

"Uh X?" Kate swung around to the professional address expecting some work related news perhaps about the FFV they had encountered earlier.

"Sir" came her response. In the heat of the moment Mike had not intended to sound so formal.

"Ah um Kate?" Mike rarely addressed her as Kate on board unless it was of a personal nature. Feeling this was not the time to question it she simply replied again with "Sir".

"Kate" emphasizing her name again making it obvious this was a personal matter, which did not concern the navy at all "may I have a word?"

She could see it on his face and it wasn't a conversation she wanted to have right now. It was her chance to escape it.

"Another time perhaps" he was shocked even though he used her name and not her rank Kate would never brush him off.

"Kate" he demanded in his professional voice his authority getting the better of him.

"I'm really quite exhausted Sir, goodnight".

Kate opened the door to her cabin knowing full well she had just left mike dumfounded she disobeyed a direct request from her CO.

Kate heard the advancing footsteps of Mike and his hand come to rest on her shoulder as she stepped inside his touch alone triggered a nerve.

"Kate" he whispered softly.

With her back still turned "please mike" she responded "not tonight:" she shut her eyes trying to cling to the tears welling in her eyes.

"Mike!" came her broken voice he could tell she was pleading with him now and yet he was torn he needed to know what was going on had Josh hurt her? He didn't understand, just the same he wanted to respect her wishes. Suddenly she felt the warmth of his hand leave allowing her to shut the door behind her. She wiped the tears from her face unsure of why she was such an emotional wreck? Yes she was tired and confused but she was also pregnant. She had to remember that her emotions were beginning to run wild.

Hammersley was due back in port in three days time and in that time Kate was not at all herself she was tired and unsociable but she kept herself professional as always. Meanwhile mike was left confused and forced to carry on as normal. Kate hadn't mentioned or appeared as the same vulnerable woman again, she was playing the role of his strong, very private XO very well.

Four hours from port Kate resigned her self to her cabin to finish off some paper work, but an hour later the exhausted form of her body lay curled up on her rack, but as tiredness racked her body her mind failed to find the sleep she so desired. Instead plaguing her with thoughts of the conversation to come, she so badly wanted and yet feared to tell mike, and she had another week before all could be revealed. The Hammersley was on a last minute sharp turn around after dropping Mr Ambrose in port, they were to return to sea and continue their search for the FFV they had encountered prior to the mayday.

Just two short hours later Kate was awoken from Her endless daydream.

"Xo bridge at the rush".

Kate made her way onto the bridge "X are you ok?"

"Yea fine thanks Nav"

"Are you sure? You don't look so good"

"Ah just having trouble sleeping is all" Kate stifled a yorn and although convincing her fatigue was, it was only being fuelled by the real problem. At 1500 Kate made her way out to the boat deck to vade farewell to Josh. In the short time she had got to know the stranger she had appreciated consoling in him and had found comfort in his kindness to listen.

"Thanks again Josh and all the best"

"Yea you too Kate and all the best you will make a great mother I know it!"

Nav who had come to stand beside Kate herd the last sentence josh had spoken. She too bid her farewell to Josh before turning a questioning eye on Kate.

Kate had not realised Nav's presence during the interlude and was lost for words when Nikki questioned her.

"Mother?" Kate failed to hide her surprise at Nikki's innocent question. She turned her head in attempt to lose eye contact with the cluey navigator. Nikki who hadn't the slightest idea what josh had meant by this was also quickly surprised, Kate was hiding something.

"Kate what is it? What did he mean you'll make a great Mother…wasn't that a bit uncanny or random even? …Unless…oh my god!" Kate's silence alone had given her away!

"Kate are you pregnant?"

All Kate could respond with was "please Nikki please don't tell anyone" Nikki returned a confused but understanding smile.

"It's just this wasn't something I planned and I haven't told the father".

"But, when? How? Who?…..I didn't even realize you were seeing anyone!"

"Nikki please!" Nikki stopped her interrogation

"Sorry Kate" she could see that Kate was clearly stressed by it all and not willing to go into detail.

"When did you find out?"

"Uh.. four days ago. I took a test. I sort of bumped in to Josh and since I didn't want anyone to know I sort of had to tell him so he would keep it quiet". Kate was looking everywhere but into Nikki's eyes, she knew that by doing so she was facing the truth something she couldn't deal with just yet! Nikki saw it too, giving her a knowing smile.

"Kate you're not alone in this" Kate fort the lump in her throat swallowing hard.

"Thanks Nikki" and with this the pair returned to the bridge Kate taking up her post in the captain chair feeling the weight lift a little more!

"I have the ship Dutchy has the COM, sit rep Dutchy"

"Aye Ma'am" came Dutchy's reply "we are currently steaming north to the coast of Barron Island where we hope to intercept the FFV's mothership! Kingston called in another FFV in the area just 35 minutes ago and we have reason to believe she is steaming toward her mothership on a bearing of 263 she's currently doing 12knots and we should reach her just below the horizon by first light."

"Perfect, carry on"

"Aye Ma'am" and with this Dutchy was relieved of his post and retired down to the senior sailors mess.


	2. Chapter 2

As duty officer Kate made her way out on to the boat deck. In the darkness of the night she could barely see where the sea finished and the sky began. Just a small patch of water off to the east was illuminated by the semi full moon, cloud cover made much else invisible. She moved to secure the guard railing when she heard a muffled breath. The action of her leaning out over the guard rail at this made her stubble forward in fright. Suddenly she felt an arm wrap around her waist and a hand come to rest on her abdomen, pulling her back towards safety. She immediately noticed the all too familiar warmth of the arm around her and twisted her body to confirm her suspicions. At the same time the owner pulled her in closer. His warm body heat sent a chill down her spine, as her eyes met his lips and traced up to find his deep blue eyes.

"Sir what are you doing?" Mike gave her a concerned look

"Me? Kate are you ok?"

"Were you following me" she accused

"X you nearly fell over the guard rails" Kate shook her head.

"I'm fine…I was fine"

"X I was just trying to help"

" …Well thank you …Sir" Mike moved his hand to stroke her face.

"Kate? Please we need to talk" Kate bowed her head down to see his other hand resting on her still flat stomach. She looked up into his eyes once more, he was concerned. She knew she couldn't ignore him much longer and she knew she had to talk to him but she didn't have the courage right now …she was scared! Instead she gave him a knowing look, taking his hand in hers as she removed it from her stomach and proceeded to the bridge!

Kate awoke the next morning to the same urge she had had for the past two weeks, she quickly through back the sheets of her rack and bolted for the bathroom to up end the contents of her stomach!

She reappeared twenty minutes later relieved that Nikki had the morning watch. She couldn't believe her luck in the short time she had confirmed her pregnancy her morning sickness had intensified. Satisfied that she was through with the morning's session of sickness she made her way to the galley only to curse herself for such a thought. The strong wafting smell of bacon and eggs as she greeted Bomber and Dutchy sent her straight out the port side exit at a fast pace with her hand cupped over her mouth, she was overcome with sickness once more. Deciding to forgo breakfast she made her way straight to the bridge.

Back in the galley Kate's little hiccup had gone unnoticed by most but not Bomber, she was confused…her eggs weren't off and it wasn't like the X to avoid the galley at breakfast.

"Are you ok Bomber?" Nav had just come to make her morning brew and was faced with a lost looking cook.

"Yes fine thanks Nav…just the X, have you noticed her acting strange at all?"

"How so?"

"Well just before she took one look at my eggs and then practically sprinted away"

"Really?"

"Yea I think she was sick out the port deck, do you think she's ok?"

Nav realised that Kate was beginning to experience the joys of her pregnancy…morning sickness, she looked back at the young cook "now you mention it Bomb I think she's just had a small bug thing lately it's nothing really, don't worry its not your food" she gave her a curt smile, which Bomber returned before she made her way back to the bridge, making a mental note as she did so to tell Kate that if she wanted to keep her secret she would have to be a little more discreet.

Up on the bridge Mike was readying his ship to intercept the FFV mother ship!

Nikki re-entered the bridge and took her seat monitoring contacts on radar.

"Sir"

"Go ahead Nav"

"I have them …bearing 12'33 north east of our current position on a heading of 24'34 N , 45'12 E

"How far away are we Nav?

"Four clicks boss"

"Right pipe boarding stations X"

Kate did so before leaving the bridge to kit up. As she made her way out on to the boat deck she was unexpectedly confronted by Nikki.

"X? What are you doing?"

Kate gave a gruff laugh "what does it look like" she moved to walk passed Nikki But was stopped short. She knew exactly why Nikki was enquiring but she also knew Nikki wouldn't betray her trust so she took advantage of the public scene. Dutchy, Bomber and two-dads had followed Kate out on deck and were waiting for their instruction.

"Can I help you Nav" Nikki took another approach.

"Kate…. you can't do this the b…." she trailed off. Kate hadn't expected Nikki to come right out with it and at her sudden pause sensed the presence of a third person listening in. Kate turned to meet eyes with Bomber before looking back at Nikki. Bomber appeared confused and Kate didn't expect the words that she spoke next.

"Nav the X looks fine like you said yourself it was just a bug yea?"

"A bug?" came Kate's voice.

Nicky stared back at Kate with a knowing look but forced a smile "I just thought after bomber here told me you vomited of the port side this morning, I thought maybe your 'bug' was getting worse."

Kate was a quick thinker and hooked on quick bomber had witnessed her small display in the morning and Nikki had covered for her assuring bomber she simply had a 'bug'. She silently thanked Nikki's loyalty but knew the navigator wouldn't give in so easily.

"Ah Bomber round up the others by the port rib I'll be there shortly"

"Ma'am" Bomber moved towards the rib collecting Two-Dads on her way.

"Kate its dangerous you can't do this"

"Nicky I know it is but it's my job"

"Kate?"

"What am I supposed to do?"

Nikki shook her head she didn't have an answer she just knew this wasn't a good idea.

"Kate! Just think about what you're doing?"

"I am, I'm doing my job" and with that she left to attend to her duties as boarding officer, leaving Nikki hoping and praying it would be a straight forward boarding.

Back up on the bridge Mike prepared to give his orders. It wasn't long before Kate's voice crackled over the radio.

"Sir I have a visual on our suspect vessel"

"Ok X you know the drill…insert, insert, insert"

The boarding party boarded on the starboard side of the vessel in clear view of their on looking CO and Navigator. Dutchy boarded first followed by the X, swain, Two Dads and RO.


	3. Chapter 3

The stench of rotting shark fin lining the decks caused Kate to swallow hard. The smell was something she'd grown used to, though today it was more intense than ever before. She filled her lungs with the salty sea air as she continued down the starboard side. The wooden boards of the deck creaked in protest beneath her feet. The boat was barely sea worthy. She followed Dutchy into the wheel house to collect the manifest while the rest of the party secured the crew.

"Charlie 82, this is X-ray 82"

"Go ahead X"

"Sir it appears we have taken them by surprise…thankfully, they have a sizable catch and Two-Dads and Swain recovered a small cache of weapons from below"

" Do you consider them a threat to the crew X"

"They aren't speaking Sir I suspect they understand very little of what we're saying, but they do look rather fierce"

"Ok, ah go with your gut instinct X, I want them cuffed and bought back to Hammersley we'll put them under guard in austere as a precaution and we'll need a steaming party"

Kate relayed the captains message to Dutchy who appointed RO and Two-Dads as the steaming party. As the crew moved to dump the catch and secure the vessels crew and weapons a tall, ragged figure who proclaimed to be the master of the vessel stepped forward with a face full of anger and a swinging fist to match. "Aussies go this is my boat, you go". Kate whom had her back to the man scrawling through the manifest is taken off guard by the fleeting moment and as she turns she realizes she is in the man's line of fire. Her attempt to respond is woeful as the man's size 11 boot makes contact with Kate's left leg throwing her off balance and hard into the nearby bulkhead. Dutchy quickly moves to secure the man whilst swain rushes to Kate's assistance.

"X..X are you ok?" adrenalin kicks in and Kate who had ended up sprawled upon the deck recovers herself quickly.

"I'm fine" she assures Swain "let's just get this wrapped up yea" Kate signals the rib in ignoring the new pang of nausea and dull ache in her stomach.

Mike is on the boat deck to meet the boarding party. Dutchy and swain secure the fisherman in austere whilst Kate gives him a quick debrief.

"Ok X I'll see you back up on the bridge in ten"

"Yes sir"

"Uh and X…I uh saw you take a knock are you ok?"

Kate frowned it's all in the job "I'm fine thanks sir" though the nausea and pain were gaining intensity and her head began to swim as the adrenalin of the boarding began to ware off. She made for the boarding room to derig herself of her boarding gear. On Her way back up to the bridge she dropped into the wardroom to collect some pain killers from swain and continued on her way to give Mike the debrief.

Back up on the bridge the watch were making ready for the trip back to port, Kate staggered up the stairs as the ship pitched starboard. The sea was becoming a tyrant with the incoming storm, making for a rough ride home. Kate approached Mike preying the painkillers would soon have their desired affect when she was hit by a sharp, stabbing pain. Her footing faltered as the boat pitched starboard again sending her staggering into the path of Dutchy who had followed her up the stairs. Dutchy caught her and corrected her.

His response was muffled "Whoa you right there X?" Kate struggled to hear anything but the sound of her own breathlessness, a dizziness began to overwhelm her senses; she did her best to nod and continue towards Mike.

Mike who had witnessed the incident studied Kate with grave concern; Her porcelain light skin was pallor than ever and covered in a light sheen of sweat, breathing hard, her face screwed up into a mixture of pain and concentration….

"X…..X? ….KATE?" Mike jumped forward to catch her as she began to fall.

"SWAIN! SWAIN!...Nav pipe swain at the rush"…Kate could hear an exasperated Mike barking out orders but could make little sense of them the pain seemed to peak and she was enveloped into unconsciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

Flash back

_As the storm raged on outside they found themselves with an empty bottle of red wine by the crackling fire. Talking and laughing it was all so easy and came all too naturally, an outsider to the scene could easily see they were so much more than work colleagues, friends even. They had the kind of chemistry that few are fortunate to find in love, though no matter how much they loved one another it was tainted by regulations which forbid such. As long as they served on the same ship they would continue to deny their feelings for one another, neither willing to take the risk of admitting their love for the other for the fear of rejection. Thus with the exception of a few rash moments this is how their relationship would continue…_

_Kate could feel the effects of the alcohol beginning to take effect she was relaxed, though as her mind began to blur so did the words on her page. She had agreed to finish the rest of the paperwork as she had done on many occasions before over a friendly dinner with Mike. She found herself rereading the same page three times over before giving up. She took her glass exhaling loudly at the realisation the bottle and it too was empty. _

_"oh" She laughed at her own disappointed seizing Mike's attention as he too retired his paper work. He looked up to see his favourite smile graced on her face._

_She looked up to Mike staring at her with a smile on his face "what?" Mike suddenly realised he was still staring at her._

_"Yea?" he bowed his head_

_"Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_"…Uh like what?" Mike decided that to play dumb was his only out, but he couldn't help looking back deep into her eyes._

_"Like you are now" she didn't mean for it to only escape as a whisper but the way he looked at her was different to normal, she could see the usual happiness and regret but there was something else…the distance between them began to close…desire? The moment she had the thought she froze, she closed her eyes desperately trying to clear the haze caused by the alcohol. Had she just imagined it? The warm breath on her cheek should have been proof enough that she hadn't but she willed herself to open her eyes. More confused than ever at the sight of pitch black darkness she waited for her brain to process the sight. In the sudden pitch black darkness mike failed to navigate around the empty wine bottle knocking it onto an empty plate, the clinking sound of the glass snapped him out of his daze quickly realising the power had cut out. _

_"Eh powers gone" Mike sensed Kate's movement and followed her sounds out to the electrical box. _

_Large white sheets of rain saturated the pair in an instant. Kate began to flick the switches frustrated as the__ small lights showed no change despite the fact she couldn't see a thing she remained determined. _

_"Want me to take a look?" even in the very dim light of the night sky Mike knew he was on the receiving end of one of her deadly XO stares. _

_"Fine I need to go get a torch anyway!" Kate stormed off leaving Mike to inspect the different gages._

_He re-entered the house 5 minutes later to find Kate rifling through her kitchen draws -having lit the few candles that were scattered around her house- she hadn't given up the search for a torch. _

_"It's no use your circuits fine I think a power line must have gone down"_

_"Ah. What. No?" Kate defeated gave up on her search turning her attention to Mike._

_"Don't worry they're pretty good with these things you should be right by tomorrow" from the dim light of the grey sky that streamed through her windows she could make out a clear picture of Mike. The rain had left beads of water in his hair and droplets that trickled down his flushed cheeks. The blue sweater he'd been wearing was now soaked to a dark blue and clung to his masculine form. Kate too felt a desire…her own. She watched on absorbed in his beauty as he separated the wet fabric from his skin, stripping down to a singlet, suddenly his eyes met hers and a smug smile crossed his features._

_"What?"_

_"Ha…I didn't say anything" was all she could manage_

_"Mmm…then why are you looking at me like that?" He taunted with one eyebrow raised_

_She finally realised the reason for the smug smile; they were right back to that moment that she'd regrettably tried so hard to escape. Mike was quick to close the distance this time capturing her lips in a passionate kiss first and then again softly brushing his lips against hers in a plea. But she didn't need much encouragement she kissed him back harder her hands finding his chest and tracing back over his arms pulling herself in closer. She was backed up to the kitchen counter and could feel his hands on her waist and then her hips, his right hand came to rest on the back of her left thigh suddenly lifting her into a sitting position on the counter. She pulled back briefly seeing the desire in his eyes looking for some kind of reassurance but the gentle caress of her cheek as he began to track kisses down her neck was all she needed. Impatient to feel the bare skin of his chest she tugged at his singlet indicating that it had to go. She pulled it up over his head finding his lips once more in a sensual kiss. As she ran her hands over the bare skin she could feel Mikes' hands beginning to explore her too. He slowly relieved her of her shirt gently undoing each button before slipping it back over her shoulders to reveal her black lace bra. He gently placed soft tantalising kisses over her shoulder and collarbone brushing the restricting straps over her shoulders as he did so…she moaned in delight but it wasn't enough. "Mike please" she could feel his smile on her skin "I mean it stop teasing". Kate was growing more impatient by the second she tugged at the buttons of his jeans, she needed him he groaned at her touch "Kate" came his husky whisper. Sensing she had succeeded she pulled herself in closer as his hands grabbed at her hips. She smiled to herself as she felt his arousal press into her. Giving in Mike lifted her up and navigated his way to her bedroom. Once there he shed the rest of his clothing and stripped Kate of her Jeans. He climbed on top of her reaching underneath for the clasp of her bra. He caressed her cheek once more gently brushing his lips against hers before more passionately kissing her. Kate responded again with a deeper kiss playfully biting down and nipping his bottom lip. Both became overwhelmed with desire, Kate raised her hips to his arousal as he sunk himself into her. Mike began with slow rhythmic thrusts gradually increasing his speed and intensity as they both reached climax. Kate's breathing became heavy as she got closer "Mike" she moaned and let out the breath she was holding, she bucked her hips up and Mike let a low groan soon after collapsing beside her. He pulled her into his chest giving her a kiss goodnight before drifting into sleep. _


	5. Chapter 5

Mike hadn't had time to fathom the news he'd received from the Nav, in that moment so much seemed to be explained but he was more confused than ever. Mike had carried Kate to the ward room himself leaving Dutchy with the ship and orders to steam home at maximum speed. The worry was intoxicating him. Swain had rushed ahead and was prepping the room. Nikki who had been below overseeing operations in austere was on her way back up to the bridge as Swain and Mike hovered over Kate trying to establish what was wrong.

"OMG …KATE what happened what's wrong" Swain seemed to be finding his feet but the CO not so much.

"She collapsed she's unconscious but breathing I think she'll be ok" swain answered after an unwavering 30 seconds of silence.

"you think?...Swain?" Swain's words did nothing to reassure him.

"Uh Sir perhaps if I had Bomber in here to help?" At these words Mike regained his sanity and turned to the Nav.

"Nav get Bomber here stat" Nikki wanted to help but she also wanted to help Kate there was no way she could help her without telling the Swain what she knew but if she could keep it to the ears of a select few she knew Kate would be forever grateful, especially considering the conversation of earlier that day.

"Sorry Sir I can't do that" Mike raised his eye brows at her in disbelief it was unlike the young Navigator to defy a direct order.

"excuse me?"

"Sir I need a word with the Swain… it could be related!"

"Well spit it out"

"Uh" Nikki was determined to keep Kate's secret but it was becoming harder and harder by the second.

"Nikki?"

"Nav, if it does I need to know now?" Swain demanded.

Nikki swallowed hard and prepare to stand her ground "with all due respect Sir I need a word with Swain in private" Mike could see the struggle in her voice, but even thick worry in his mind he managed to see clarity. If he needed to know Swain would tell him and Kate obviously intrusted Nav with something and he had to respect that.

Swain let out a deep breathe of relief "well She's stable for now anyway I think her diastolic is rising and she's breathing on her own I'll rehydrate her with a bag of fluid but I'd still like to know what Nav has to say Sir"

"Very well then, Swain update me the moment anything changes"

"Sir" and with that Mike reluctantly left to update Navcom and the bridge.

"So what is it Nav"

Nikki attempted to back track but knew she had to reveal Kate's secret "she's better?" Swain gave her an expecting stare awaiting for her to continue.

He sighed " Well yes but I really can't say so for sure manly I can't work with him on top of me…I had to get rid of him" he smiled.

"Right well you should know then Kate's uh …she's pregnant Swain". His face drained from jovial to pure dread in a heartbeat, as his eyes scanned Kate's body his mind beginning to race.

He shook his head "How pregnant Nav?" and suddenly he understood the need for privacy. The X was an extremely private woman and highly respected, she didn't need or deserve for rumours about her personal life to spread through the immature ranks of the crew.

"Eh… I don't know clearly not long…I mean she's not showing or anything?"

"Nav how far along is she" the worry in his voice was clear.

"Shit I don't know Swain your scaring me… what's wrong"

"Nav you're going to have to tell the CO we need a medical officer here now"

"SWAIN?" Nav voice was shaking things seemed to escalate from ok to extremely bad in a matter of seconds.

Swain back tracked he could see the worry in the young Navigator but knew the truth was what was best for all at this point.

"Nikki on the boarding she took a hit…now she said she was fine but if she's pregnant there's a high risk she could be miscarrying".

"Oh my God…Swain?" he answered the unspoken questions in her eyes.

"We don't know anything for sure. Kate will be fine but I'm concerned about the baby, so you need to go to the Boss and tell him now..ok?"

"right ok" and with that Nikki pulled herself together for Kate's sake.

"Sir?" Nikki's voice rang out in his ears.

"She's what?"

"She's pregnant Sir" Mike struggled to process the meaning of the words, so instead he refocused his energy on what he knew needed to be done next. He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

"Ok Nav.. I want you to return to the bridge, plot us on a direct heading to the coordinates of the Melbourne and then take the ship and get us there as quick as possible. I'll deal with Navcom and the Melbourne, brief Swain and be with you shortly.

"Yes Sir" Nav obeyed and turned on her heels to carry out his orders.

When Mike arrived with the Melbourne's Doctor Swain helped him set up the equipment for the ultrasound whilst giving him a patient handover.

"35 year-old female suspected of being in first trimester of pregnancy. Collapsed 55 minutes ago, had a fall approximately 40 mins prior to the collapse when she was struck in the posterior-superior region of her left leg, She had collected two panadol for a head ache and reported to be fine, however right before she collapsed it was reported she appeared in pain. She's had uh…." Swain looked at the hung bag going through the pump into her arm "…approximately 700ml of fluids (n/s), Vitals are stable but She has yet to regain consciousness".

"Ok right good job" the doctor lifted up Kate's shirt to palpate her abdomen.

Mike winced at the sight of her thinness. Although naturally small framed and thin she looked thinner than usual. There was no way of knowing physically that she was in fact pregnant. She'd run herself ragged, seeing to the high demands of her job of late whilst harbouring such a secret. He chastised himself for not confronting her in her cabin when he had the chance.

"How pregnant did you say?" the doctor asked looking at swain.

"I didn't Sir we have no idea my estimate is based on the fact she's not showing".

"She only found out a few days ago" Nav chimed in. She could feel Mike eyes burning into the back of her head.

"Ok well what I can do is have a look for a foetal heart beat, but unfortunately that's all I can do at this stage. I can't feel anything above the pelvic bone so she can't be any more than 10 weeks". The doctor proceeded to squeeze some gel along the border of Kate's pelvic bone and moved the doppler around her lower abdomen in search of the heartbeat.

"Nav, let's let them do their work" Nikki exited followed by Mike.

In the passage way.

"Nikki a word" She knew what was happening she was about to be roasted and she already felt awful about it.

Mike opened the door to his cabin and ushered her in.

Nikki waited for him to close the door before she began "Sir I am so sorry I tried to tell her, to stop her from doing the boarding. I should have tried harder".

"How long have you known Nikki?"

"Since this morning I found out by accident" Mike's expression remained unwavering.

"Please don't blame yourself Nikki; I need you on the bridge"

"Sir?"

"Carry on"

"But Sir?"

"Look, I know what the X is like, if any one's to blame it's me I am the closest thing she has to a Divisional Officer and I sent her on the boarding, she as much as everyone else on this ship is my responsibility ok? ".

"Yes Sir" Mike opened the door for her to leave through.

Mike took a deep breath and exhaled loudly in an attempt to expel some of the pent up adrenalin. He took the moment unaccompanied to drop the CO facade and be Mike. In the space of an hour and a half Kate had managed to almost give him two heart attacks and both whilst she was unconsciousness. Seeing her collapse on the bridge had thrown him into panic stations but hearing she was pregnant left him baffled. He took out the photo of Kate he kept in his draw. …He mused to himself, why couldn't you tell me Kate? The doctor's words rang out in his ears….. _She can't be any more than 10 weeks…._He thought back to the last week at sea she had been avoiding him like the plague and now he knew why. To be precise she must have been seven weeks unless she managed to find someone else on-board! They'd been at sea almost three months straight with the exception of the two nights of shore leave Kate and Mike spent together at Kate's house. He knew the baby was his and now he could suddenly pause to ponder the fact. She must be so confused. He wasn't sure how he felt about fatherhood, but he knew he loved Kate and he didn't want anything to happen to her baby….their baby.

After forty five minutes Mike made his way to the wardroom just as the doctor exited shaking Mikes hand on the way out. He opened his mouth daring to ask for the outcome but the solemn look on Swain's face was all he needed to confirm his fear. Instead he changed tack.

'Has she regained consciousness yet?"

"Not yet Sir but I imagine she will soon her body is simply resting, it's been through an ordeal".


	6. Chapter 6

Kate's eyes flickered she could hear the soft whispers of mike and swain exchanging in conversation. As consciousness swept over her once more she listened in until all that was herd was the movements of just one person. She opened her eyes to see swain adjusting the solution that was making its way into her arm.

"Swain?" although just a whisper the Petty Officer was drawn in immediately to his XO

"Ma'am, how are you feeling'?

Kate looked in to his concerned eyes "what happened?"

"You collapsed ma'am…fainted" although she herd what he was saying his eyes told another story he was confused.

"…And?"

"…And? I don't know ma'am I was hoping you could help explain, before you collapsed… the boss,, he said it looked as though you were in pain!"

Kate avoided his stare closing her eyes as realisation hit her "I see, what do you think happened….Swain?"

Her prompting wasn't of a rattled woman but the strong xo equipped with a deadly stare.

"Ma'am I…" swain looked down in defeat.

Kate looked into his eyes once more ….he knew.

"You know?" a wave of emotion washed over her as she shut her eyes tears escaped but she was determined to hear it!

"Kate I'm …" as Swain struggled with his words Kate became confused, he knew her secret but she was satisfied as a friend she would have his soul discretion.

"It's ok swain It's fine you know I'm pregnant…It's ok right?"

Swain looked into her tear stricken eyes struggling with his own emotions it was a fait he would wish upon no one. He exhaled a shaky breath shaking his head "I;m so sorry Kate"

It was then that her suspicions were realised no words were needed she already knew but the piece of her that would accept denial needed to hear it "I miscarried!"

Her words were answered by a heavy nod from swain, as she looked down to where her hands unconsciously lay on her stomach wet tears trickled down her cheeks. Swain went onto explain how the medical officer from the Melbourne failed to find a foetal heart beat after a thorough assessment which, at Nav's request had included the discreet ultrasound, but Kate remained unresponsive. And there it was a second stab… Mike knew too! She knew he would have demanded to know as to why he had to request a rondevu at sea to pick up a doctor. Regardless of their relationship he would have for anyone on Hammersley and as the only person to outrank her he was the closest thing to a divisional officer to advocate for her. Of course he deserved to know as the CO and more so as the father but not like this…..

She walked into her empty house and collapsed against the back of the front door. The act was over, now she had to convince herself of that. She had made for a quick escape avoiding both Mike and Nav and only being caught by the senior sailors on her way pass the mess but, She wasn't fine when she refused drinks with duchy, she wasn't fine when swain offered his shoulder and she didn't need the space from mike. She was lonely, scared and most of all lost. The pain she felt was unfamiliar and unlike any physical pain she'd ever endured she could hardly fathom the events of the past 24 hours. The pang of guilt that had hit her was inconceivable and seemed to deepen with each passing hour. She should never have taken the boarding, it was all her fault, she had killed an unborn baby…her unborn baby!


	7. Chapter 7

He couldn't see the sparkle any more like giant empty orbs her eyes exerted a fear that shook him to the bone, in this moment the strong diligent Xo wasn't there nor was his sweet, enchanting Kate. She was consumed by an ugly guilt.

"Kate" his soft whisper did nothing to acquire her attention.

"Kate everything's going to be alright" He wrapped his arms around her pulling her body to his. She weakened at his touch, too tired to fight it. A lifetime seemed to pass before He gently pulled her into his arms and carried her down the familiar hall to her room and began to undress her.

"Mike" her voice was shaky and only a whisper, but he heard it. "…Mike I don't know what to say", her breath hitched "….I'm sorry" wet tears streamed down her face.


	8. Chapter 8

The Hammersley's crew spent the week on their scheduled shore leave. Mike and Kate spent their leave in one another's company. They talked about everything other than what needed to be talked about and they enjoyed one another's company, but mainly Mike simply took care of Kate waiting for the Kate he knew to return from guilt that had swallowed her.

Her mind was still cloudy but the haze of guilt that had plagued her mind for the past week seemed to have cleared somewhat. Returning to work again would help but she knew there was something she had to do first, she was surprised to find that something present it's self sooner than she could have imagined. She smiled to herself at the sight of Commander Mike Flynn sprawled out on her sofa. His 6 foot form clearly not a match for the small throw that rested across his chest, neglecting to cover anything beyond his knee caps. She leaned into the banister taking in his familiar salty scent before surrendering to the need for coffee.

Mike awoke to a familiar smell and was grateful to find the hot steaming mug on the table beside him. The warm breeze and sounds of chirping birds drifted through the back door, he took a gulp allowing the caffeine to seep into his body before gathering himself up and proceeding out into the morning air. His motive leaned casually against the deck railing biding her time.

Kate felt his presence again and exhaled deeply, she turned her head to acknowledge him as he came to stand by her side. They looked out upon the soft, crashing waves delaying their impending conversation. The silence between them was lacking its usual comfort, so Mike decided to break it.

"I think we need to talk" Kate nodded but kept her eyes firmly fixed on the horizon.

"I was scared…" Kate felt the warm prickle in her eyes as they glistened with unshed tears.

"I was just so scared, I couldn't talk to anyone aside from other reasons deep down I knew the moment I did it would be real and then I'd have to tell you. It's not that I didn't want to tell you it's more that I had to figure things out first. I wanted us to figure things out first. I guessed with me being pregnant the ultimatum Maxine had given me would no longer stand. It wasn't enough anymore that I let you go…. the damage had already been done" Mike's heart ached for her pain but a myriad of questions were first to surface.

"Maxine?...ultimatum? I don't understand"

"She knew about us or at least she knew our intentions …when you went to fleet command she called me in to her office to discuss it. She made me see something that I regret I didn't see earlier". Silence fell once more as Mike's brain worked over time to understand what Kate was saying.

"So what Maxine threatened you?"

"No she helped me understand that you leaving the navy wasn't an option and neither was a relationship. If you'd have received your shore posting questions would be asked and sooner or later fraternization would have been speculated"

"No" Mike winced

Kate didn't budge "Hell Maxine suspected it before anything had even happened…" Mike turned to face her in protest.

"I would of left Kate I told you I wouldn't let anything ruin our future!" Kate took a deep breath in as tears threatened to fall

"…Just let me finish…Maxine was right. If you'd have left eventually you would have resented me…so much of you is the navy Mike…you'd have been lost without it" finally she tuned to face him.

Mikes ocean blue eyes were glazed with deep sadness. For the first time the truth was being said and as much as she needed it, it was the hardest thing she had ever done. The tears in her eyes were now streaming down her face; Mike closed the distance between them lifting out his hand to catch them.

"No Kate I'm sorry but your wrong" she closed her eyes and allowed the tears to fall again "I'd be lost without you" She could feel his soft touch on her skin attempting to prevent tear stained cheeks. Suddenly she was right where she needed to be, cradled in his arms as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear "…and I' won't let you push me away again…ever". At these words she opened her eyes to see two ocean blues staring back at her with love and determination.

"Kate I love you" She allowed herself to lean into his strong frame his lingering lips finding hers. She kissed him back with passion and desire only breaking away as her lungs cried out in protest. She rested her forehead against his breathless from the emotions she too felt. As her breathing steadied she realised she wanted to and needed to say it too. She looked again into his ocean blue eyes.

"Me too!" Kate frowned "….I mean I love you too" a loving smile broke out across his face. She relaxed into his cradling arms where she stayed for what seemed like an eternity. As Mike breathed in Kate's scent the anguish of the past few weeks seemed to dissipate.


	9. Chapter 9

As Kate rounded the corner to the ship with a fortnights' supply of her belonging slung over her back she stilled at the sight of the Hammersley bobbing ever so slightly in the calm soft waters of the inlet. Mike had told her about the length of his posting and agreed to give her time to sort through her thoughts. They were yet to touch the subject of the pregnancy just yet but somehow they were so at ease with each other that very little needed to be said. When Kate had attempted to bring it up Mike had simply nodded.."I know" and that was all that was said. Kate was grateful for his understanding as she attempted to fathom all that had happened. Until they had the time ashore again to sort out their life together they'd agreed to remain professional on board, the one thing they seemed to do so well. All that seemed to matter was that they knew they would be together now no matter what.

Kate surfaced from her thoughts as she herd to the door to the cabin open and a nervous looking Navigator looking back at her.

"X…Kate ? I am so sorry" Kate was instantly plagued with guilt yet again.

"Oh Nikki please don't be you couldn't have said anything…. These things happen" She hugged the young navigator and plastered a smile on her face but Nikki although grateful for Kate's words wasn't sure for whose benefit it was. Kate immersed herself in once again unpacking her gear before reporting to the boat deck with Nikki for the morning briefing.

"Ok guys I just got notification that the fisherman on the boat we boarded last week has tested positive for swine flu" the crews alarm immediately sparked panicked chatter amongst the junior sailors.

"…Attention" Dutchy barked and Mike nodded his thanks.

"…As I was saying the fisherman have tested positive, however, we had very limited contact with them but as a precaution and so as to comply with our standing policy and procedures post possible exposure Command has asked that Hammersley's crew undergo screening…Now since this is only being bought to my attention now that will mean everyone …ok over to you swain" Swain stepped forward to explain the procedure.

"Ok so normally we would ask that you do a nose and throat swab but this being the navy the medical officer's on base have decided to make it a blood test to rule out any other nasties. So it shouldn't take long but pathology have requested this before we can sail so I'll need your cooperation, we'll go by divisions starting with the executive department, the X will pipe you when we're ready for you, until then sit tight and don't worry I stress this is more for the need of paperwork than anything".

Kate knew this would set them back. She left the briefing preparing to inform port services of their change of departure time. They were only scheduled for a fortnights patrol so as to be eligible for attendances at the bases ship balls, something that Kate had been able to forget about until Nikki frankly reminded her on her way to the boat deck. Already Kate was beginning to feel the energy drain from her limbs. By the time she reported to the ward room to have her blood taken she was the last to do so and inwardly kicked herself. Being last meant that the rest of the crew were already in leaving ships stations ready for departure giving Swain the privacy of the ward room to dote over her. She knew it was with the best of intentions, but it wasn't something she wanted to deal with.

"Uh lucky last X" he encouraged her to take a seat and set about preparing the necessary paper work and equipment.

Kate attempted a smile "just don't hurt me Swain"

"You have an aversion to needles X!?" she shook her head

"I wouldn't dream of it anyway" Kate smiled she admired his friendship.

"So how long till we get the 'official' all clear?" Swain grimaced.

"It doesn't matter how many times I tell them does it? They don't have it. The junior sailors are still panicking hey?"

Kate let out a small chuckle "yea I think they are".

Swain resigned shaking his head "well path say they'll be right onto it so we should get a signal in a couple of days…..and your all done!".

"Ah that was quick thanks swain" Kate rolled her sleeve back down and jumped up but all too quickly, She fell back in the chair clasping her fore head.

"Whoa X not so fast… are you right"

"Yea it'll pass just a little light headed"

"Mmm I hope you don't mind me saying but after last week you need to take it easy"

Kate uttered nil response but accepted a glass of water gratefully.

"How are you?"

Kate plastered a smile once again "I'm fine just stood up a little too quick".

"Really X you know you can talk to me as a friend too right? I take it this isn't the first time…how often are you having these dizzy spells?"

Kate faltered "…I've just been so tired lately"

"Your body may be trying to tell you something. You need to take it easy and make sure you're drinking and eating enough"

"Perhaps you're right!" Kate stood again more slowly this time.

"I can write the request for light duties if you like?"

"No, no I'll be fine I just, I should eat something" Kate hated feeling vulnerable, she thanked Swain and returned to the bridge


End file.
